A Poem

Taskmaster Gavin must be losing his grip

As we enjoyed a really leisurely start for this year’s trip

Ten budding cyclists, all coiled like a spring

Eager to see what excitement Northern Ireland would bring

Winding our way through the streets broad and narrow

With Linda forging ahead, so we just had to follow

Along canal paths and country lanes each in their turn

We pedalled sedately on towards Lisburn

Progress was halted, as it has been over the years

When Oor Willie decided to have a gamble by changing his gears

His chain became jammed, bless him, though he tried his best

So it was time to put all his bike maintenance course know-how to the test

It soon emerged his recall of the teaching was totally absent

So three lawyers spent the next half hour assessing his predicament

Till Chris Russell grabbed the screwdriver and took the problem in hand

With Willie instructed to not to fiddle with gears he doesn’t understand

As a reward, our peripatetic bovine podiatrist

Found a super-cheap way of getting really pissed

Buy two large glasses, get the rest of the bottle free

No wonder we were all encouraged to go on the spree

Numerous bottles of Malbec were gulped down in the chase

Causing some, like Chris Ingram, a permanent grin on their face

Keith Mannion forgot which room he was in

And was heard scratching at doors and generally making a din

So it was a few fuzzy heads that set off the next day

Aiming to reach the shores of giant Lough Neagh

The Kinego Marina café scored with our intrepid cyclists

Giving Ian Rodger and others the chance for second breakfasts

So suitably refreshed and with hangovers diminishing

This set us up for a pleasant, lough-side, meandering

Till the inevitable breakaway group of thrusters was formed

And onwards to Antrim these four intrepid bikers stormed

Mike reached Antrim first but totally lost and in distress

Because he didn’t have a clue how to find the Holiday Inn Express

Chris, Ivor and John duly arrived in their formation

But they also had to resort finding the office of Tourist Information

The Back Shed Restaurant proved the perfect venue

For a celebratory dinner and fun games involving IQ

Mike dressed head to foot in maroon much to Willie’s chagrin

But all Mannion wanted to know were his underpants matching?

The taxi ride back proved to be a right blast

Cos the drivers thought we were in the Holiday Inn, Belfast

So instead of acquiring a lucrative thirty-mile fee

They reached the Holiday Inn, Antrim in the blink of an ee.

So a hearty vote of thanks to Anne Shackleton and John Frew

Our two van drivers who formed a splendid crew

And thanks to Gavin and Linda for arranging these trips

Because it sure builds goodwill and better friendships