The Jigsaw Song

The Jigsaw Song

(With apologies to Billy Connelly, and thanks to Alan Rankin for the idea)

If it wisna' for yer jigaw, whit wid ye do?
Stuck in here in lockdown, wi' this Corona flu'?
Ye canna go out to buy a pint, or even Irn Bru,
So, just thank yer lucky stars ye have a jigsaw!

Bein' stuck in lockdown, is really hard tae bear,
If it wisna' for a jigsaw, ye'd be tearing oot yer hair,
But goin' oot tae meet yer pals, we simply dinna dare,
So, stay safe and thank yer stars ye've got a jigsaw.

If ye didna' have a jigsaw, it wid be a sin,
If, during lockdown, you ran right out o' gin,
It might be just enough to send you to the loony bin,
So, thank yer lucky stars ye have a jigsaw!

Jigsaws can be tricky, and some are just a fiddle,
You try to do the edges first, and then fill in the middle,
Sometimes, you must tak' a break, if you should need a piddle,
But ye thank yer lucky stars ye have a jigsaw!

If I didna' have a jigsaw, I couldna' cope at a'
Stuck inside wi' her indoors wid drive me up the wa'
(Tho' I don't know why I have na' had a skelp across the jaw!)
We both thank our lucky stars we have a jigsaw!

If it wisna' for a jigsaw, where wid ye be?
You'd be in the Hospital or Infirmaree.
You wid have Corona flu, the deadly Covi-Dee,
So, stay safe and thank yer stars ye have a jigsaw!

Dr John